às vezes páras para apanhar uma flor (sempre amarela ou com amarelo), que me dás e prendes cuidadosamente na minha orelha. às vezes trazes-ma e entregas-ma com um beijo. tu és todo o amor.
acordas, com os primeiros raios de sol a iluminarem lentamente o quarto dele - no qual já pensas como sendo o teu quarto. ele ainda dorme (é tão belo a dormir). deixas-te ficar deitada muito quieta e tudo na tua vida parece tão perfeito que dói. a luz que entra pela janela (a noite passada pediste-lhe que, contrariamente ao seu hábito, não fechasse os estores por completo, e ele concordou com um beijo) faz-te desejar ter palavras suficientes para aquele momento. acaricias-lhe o cabelo, ao de leve. o amor não cabe nas palavras que tens.
o amor assusta. o amor deixa-te exposta e vulnerável; pões a tua felicidade nas mãos daquela outra pessoa; colocas-te a ti mesma nas mãos daquela outra pessoa (porque não sabes ser de outra maneira, porque tudo o que fazes é inteiro - ou pelo menos queres profundamente que o seja) e dizes-lhe seja feita a tua vontade, e esperas que a sua vontade não te parta o coração em mil pedacinhos minúsculos (ao mesmo tempo que pensas que se fosse esse o preço a pagar, pagá-lo-ias alegremente), e esperas que o teu amor (inesgotável) seja suficiente: para lhe dar tudo, para o fazer terrivelmente feliz.
o amor assusta. mas é o medo mais belo que já existiu
The Fault In Our Stars
"You realize that trying to keep your distance from me will not lessen my affection for you", he said.
(...) All efforts to save me from you will fail".
He laughed. "That's why."
"What?"
"That's why i like you. (...) You are so busy being you that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are."
(...) i grabbed An Imperial Affliction off the bedside table and brought it back into the living room and Augustus Waters read it to me (...). As he read, i fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.
"Augustus," I said,
"I am," he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. "I'm in love with you, and i'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and i know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and tha we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you."
"It felt like everything was rising up in me, like I was drowning in this weirdly painful joy (...)."
"People always get used to beauty, though."
"I haven't gotten used to you just yet," he answered, smiling.
Some people in a lacquered wooden boat approached us on the canal below. One of them, a woman with curly blond hair, maybe thirty, drank from a beer then raised her glass toward us and shouted something.
"We don't speak Dutch," Gus shouted back.
One of the others shouted a translation: "The beautiful couple is beautiful."
"I don't ever want to do that to you," I told him.
"Oh, I wouldn't mind, Hazel Grace. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you."
"You have a choice in this world, i believe, about how to tell sad stories, and we made the funny choice (...)"
"(...) But I will say this: When the scientists of the future show up at my house with robot eyes and they tell me to try them in, I will tell the scientists to screw off, because I do not want to see a world without him."
"Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. (...) There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I'm likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful."
"It was unbearable. (...) In the last weeks, we'd been reduced to spending our time together in recollection, but that was not nothing: the pleasure of remembering had been taken from me, because there was no longer anyone to remember with."
"I love you present tense"
"I have wonderful news! (...) You are going to leave a good and long life filled with great and terrible moments that you cannot even imagine yet!"
"But it was such a privilege to love him, huh?"
"And then I crawled into his unmade bed, wrapping myself in his comforter like a cocoon, surrounding myself with his smell. I took out my cannula so I could smell better, breathing him in and breathing him out, the scent fading even as I lay there, my chest burning until I couldn't distinguish among the pains."
"(...) it occured to me that the voracious ambition of humans is never sated by dreams coming true, because there is always the thought that everything might be done better and again."
"The marks humans leave are too often scars."
"My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations."
" "What else? She is so beautiful. You don't get tired of looking at her. (...) I love her. I am so lucky to love her. You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope she likes hers."
I do, Augustus.
I do."
f.
A life without you
really would never be much
of a life at all.
Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson
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